Tuesday, February 28, 2023

DEPTH IN THOUGHTS


No one escapes pain, fear and suffering . Yet from pain can come wisdom, from fear can come courage , from suffering can come strength - if we have the virtue of resilience.





In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes. She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?
' The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life."
 He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. 
She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."
 When she finished her spill, she looked at him.
 He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. 
He said, 'You are asking a lot. 
She replied, "I'm worth a lot". 
Dedicating this post to all the wonderful women who somehow dont know their own worth and to the men who failed to realise the same .






TO BE CONTINUED...

COMMUNICATION & WOMEN

WHAT WOMEN WANT/SEEK IN COMMUNICATION
(It's nature that made man and woman different in communication.)

In societies where language is more developed/more rich, the women's needs would be more taken care of, because women use language as a potent tool more than men; women spend their energies in communication; men in action.
The purpose of asking questions in women is to quench their thirst of curiosity or for change; also to get details and to start/sustain conversations.
For women, conversations are the essential tools for relationship building and maintenance, also for emotional communication, exchanges, assurances and reassurances, for sharing emotions,evolving their EQ and reinforcing bonds of friendship. As EQ is high in women, connections are made at emotional level during conversations.
Through a conversation a woman is seeking compassion and care, sharing a concern, reinforcing bonds, understanding and interacting with emotional aspect/side of an issue/person and not much dealing with the intellectual aspect/side of an issue/person. 
What a woman needs is emotional support for her concerns/issues/problems.
Women require and crave for affection, proximity, respectful behaviour, dignity, support, acknowledgement and recognition. Security is a big issue/concern for women, so she needs encouragement, support, and a show of courage. Men need to use the language of emotion that touches her heart, provides solace and peace, give a touch of security; in short she should get a feeling of security through a person's actions and behavior.
A woman is seeking not a man of solutions/advice but a good listener who can make her comfortable and secure while interacting, who can be an emotional partner.
So your suggestions/ideas should be introduced not as solutions but rather they should appear to her as insights coming naturally to someone on a path to exploring/discovering her emotional self through interpersonal communication. So just show her the perspective, the right way to see something; don't give opinions or judgments. Help her to form opinions and judgments on her own.
ON NAGGING IN WOMEN
Nagging in women is an act of sharing and communicating and not to  criticise/complain/grumble/disturb. The intention behind nagging is to share emotions, feelings and problems.
WHERE SHOULD MEN IMPROVE
Men prefer escapism, evasion from their emotional self which is not a good strategy in the long run. It's suicidal. Men should learn from women to share their anxieties, emotions rather than getting burnt inside. "Mard ko dard nahi hota" as they say in Hindi which means a real man has no pain. In reality he keeps the pain inside and explodes one day.
Men feel the most vulnerable when they are required to show their real emotions; emotional expressions like happiness/fear/sadness/disappointment/hope etc. The communication between men and women should take place in an emotional language and not informational/intellectual/creative/spiritual.
Men need to acquire the skill of emotional communication. They should rise in emotional communication, not fall. It is adopting/discovering/exploring their emotional side/aspect/self in communication; looking at feelings also and not always searching for a meaning in issues or things.

"A gender-equal society would be one where the word ‘gender’ does not exist: where everyone can be themselves.”                                                                                                     — Gloria Steinem

ONE IS NOT BORN A WOMAN, BUT BECOMES ONE..................................................SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR.

TO BE CONTINUED...









Wednesday, February 1, 2023

THINK IN ENGLISH WITH PHRASAL VERBS

LET'S PRACTISE USING PHRASAL VERBS IN CONVERSATIONS...


Speak Out: If you have any doubts or comments do speak out. (Say it loud and clear for all to hear)
Speak Up: You need to speak up for yourself. Don't let anyone take you for granted. (Say what you want to happen in clear terms in support of something or someone)
Could you please speak up...I couldn't hear. (Speak louder)

Look Up: Make a habit of looking up the dictionary whenever you come across any new words while reading or listening. (find information from a book)
Things are looking up for the people with the new government coming into power. (a very positive change in the situation)

Break
Break up: He had to break up with his partner (to end the relatioship).
Break through: We need to break through this mindset of small thinking.(carve a new path)
Break down: He finally broke down while admitting his mistake.(started crying)

Wear
Wear Out: My shoes have worn out, will buy a new one soon. (became depreciated)
Wear off: It seems as if the headache is wearing off. (to go away slowly)

Read
Read out: Can you read out the last line? (say it loud)
Read into: You are trying to read too much into the report. (trying to find some other meaning)

Talk
Talk into: He talked me into accepting this new job. (to persuade someone to do something)
Talk out of: He talked me out of resigning this job. (to persuade someone not to do something)

Stand
Stand out: You need to make your speech stand out. (to be noticed)
Stand by: He promised to stand by me during the debate. (to support)
Stand up: We need to stand up for our rights. (to defend)
Stand in: Will you stand in for me for just five minutes? (take my place)

Come
Come up with: Can you come up with something new? (suggest something)
Come off: The advertisement came off brilliantly. (to succeed)
Coming on: The blog is coming on quite well. (making progress)
Come through: He has come through a lot in life. (to survive)

Turn
Turn up: Only a few turned up for the class. (arrived)
Turn down: His request for leave was turned down. (rejected)
Turn on/off: Can you turn on/off the fan? (switch on/off)
Turn out: Voters turned out in large numbers for the election. (participated)
Turn against: He turned against his party. (to become an enemy)

Run
Run down: The novel was run down by the press. (strongly criticized)
Run into: His business ran into many problems. (to face/meet unexpected problems)
Run out: We ran out of time. (to use completely)

Put
Put off: Don't try to put me off. (to stop from doing something.)
Put up with: We don't have to put up with his actions. (to accept something)
Put up: Where are you put up? (given accommodation)

Pull
Pull up: Let's pull up here. (to slow down and stop the vehicle) 
Pull through: The staff helped me to pull through the crisis. (to recover)
Pull over: The boss asked him to pull over. (to move the vehicle closer to the roadside)


.......TO BE CONTINUED